Category: Budget Airlines

Now before all you “size acceptance movement” types start berating me for “fatty bashing” I’m going to quash one of your arguments straight away:

Yes I AM also referring to people who are larger than normal, as an example members of any International Rugby Union front row or an American Football team linebacker.

However I’ve never had the dubious honour to be crushed in my budget airline seat by aforementioned athletes but I have on too many occasions had to share my personal space with lardy arses.

Now I’m no Alberto Contador but then again I ain’t no food shovelling, salad dodging, exercise shy, chubster who seems to think everyone and everything except themselves are to blame for their over-ample girth.

I’ve paid for my seat, as you have for yours, but why should I be okay with you spilling into my space?  Seriously, passengers pay for excess baggage so why not for excess body size? How would this be gauged?  Well why not stick passengers on a set of scales or have a frame, just like they currently do for hand baggage, and if you can’t fit in it then you pay for an extra seat.

Does this apply to everyone – OF COURSE IT DOES.  Whether you’re a big sportsman (or sportswoman) then it should – if you don’t fit in the seat then you’re encroaching on your fellow passengers space.  These budget airline seats are small enough as they are and there are numerous articles on the net that cover the importance of personal space.

Now there is no doubt the advent of low cost airlines has been great in bringing air travel to those on lower incomes but there are of course several downsides to this

The Jeremy Kyle Types Now Travel

We’ve all been on one of those flights (in my case usually to Alicante) which contains the sort of folks that would struggle to meet the IQ levels required to make it on JK’s daily shows.  Whilst waiting to board these flights it’s dead easy to identify the “Benidorm Crowd” – here’s the giveaways:

• Loud – REALLY, REALLY LOUD.
• Tattoos –  loads of them all over their bodies, and that’s just the women.
• Drunk – very drunk and quite often on the first flight out of the day.
• Uber fat – oops, I mean “big boned” (or whatever excuse lard arses use these days).

So if you didn’t identify them before boarding here’s the clues post take off:

• Within 5 seconds of the seatbelts signs being switched off there are 20 of them queuing for the toilets.
• They clap and cheer when the plane lands – now this REALLY gets on my tits.
• They are even more loud and more pissed than when they got on